{"title":"SUMMER 2026","description":"\u003cp\u003eGift sets and seasonal merchandise. Hot sauce gift packs featuring craft artisan sauces, exclusive apparel drops, and bundles perfect for the hot sauce fanatic. Grab them before they're gone.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"world-famous-chili-oil","title":"World Famous Chili Oil","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur World Famous Chili Oil is created from\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e a sophisticated blend of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003estar anise, green cardamom, cloves, peppercorns, bay leaves, ghost pepper and cinnamon. we simmer this mix of aromatics alongside garlic and shallots to create a warm umami finish. Dehydrated thai chilis add a satisfying chunk.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe heat level is medium. Works great swirled into ramen and stir fry dishes and \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003edrizzled onto pizza and dumplings. Incredible when drizzled over ice cream.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes in a reusable child-proof jar. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIngredients: Grapeseed Oil, Red Chilis, Salt, Sugar, Vinegar. Infused with \/ should contain traces of Star Anise, Green Cardamom, Ghost Pepper, Cinnamon Sticks, Bay Leaves, Cloves, Garlic, Shallots, Peppercorns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNet weight 4 oz. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eArtisan Chili Oil with Ghost Pepper \u0026amp; Aromatics\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eArtisan chili oil infused with ghost pepper, star anise, cardamom, cloves, peppercorns, bay leaves, and cinnamon. Garlic and shallots simmer in grapeseed oil for umami richness. Dehydrated Thai chilis add texture and heat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eMedium heat level. Drizzle on ramen, stir fry, dumplings, pizza, eggs, and ice cream.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eComes in reusable child-proof jar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSmall batch chili oil.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42302144970951,"sku":"COOG","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/bottlefrontCO.png?v=1747629580"},{"product_id":"satans-drano-bullet-belt","title":"Bullet Belt 2.0","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBullet Belt 2.0\u003c\/strong\u003e pays homage to Mark Gonzales' bullet belt, which he secured during at the Keep it True Rising Fest in Wurzburg–he stole it from a fellow headbanger. Now, you can channel that wild energy and achieve this really tough look without the weight, the guilt, or getting flagged at the metal detector. This lightweight, embroidered jacquard belt gives you the attitude of a bullet belt, minus the weight and liability of carrying real metal rounds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCrafted from premium woven fabric and detailed with intricate bullet-inspired embroidery, our \u003cstrong\u003eBullet Belt 2.0 \u003c\/strong\u003edelivers sharp, hardcore aesthetic that’s perfect for metalheads, punks, and posers. The embossed chrome buckle (that took years to perfect) ties the piece together with an industrial edge, making it both stylish and practical for everyday wear. Whether you’re actually stage diving, or just trying to look like you might. The \u003cstrong\u003eBullet Belt\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003e2.0\u003c\/strong\u003e gives you the firepower.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eLightweight embroidered jacquard construction with repeating bullet-inspired pattern\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eHigh-quality woven fabric for durability and all-day wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eEmbossed chrome buckle, forged in the fire of China\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eAll the aesthetic of a classic bullet belt. None of the weight.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44582693077191,"sku":"belt","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/CLEARFORWEB_933bde28-3829-40df-af6a-3cf5bca8d800.png?v=1781140820"},{"product_id":"specimen-7-hot-sauce","title":"Specimen 7","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpecimen 7 hot sauce is a scientific anomaly with the perfect mix of complexity and heat, designed to induce a severe dependency. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIngredients\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e: Jalapeño, habanero, roasted bell pepper, fresh tomato, onion, garlic, coriander, black pepper, mustard powder, ground cumin, salt, and vinegar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpecimen 7 triggers a multidimensional flavor experience. The roasted bell pepper and fresh tomato bring a fresh, smoky depth, while habanero and jalapeño grip your senses with a slow-building heat. Shades of garlic, cumin and coriander seed give it an earthy backbone, while the mustard powder and vinegar add a sharp, electrifying edge.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA volatile creation that will send you hurtling through realms of flavor and fire, Specimen 7 will never relent. Once it gets you, there is no turning back.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHeat Level 🔥 (Medium)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eMedium Heat Craft Hot Sauce with Jalapeño \u0026amp; Habanero\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eMedium heat craft hot sauce featuring jalapeño and habanero peppers with roasted bell pepper and fresh tomato. Cumin, coriander, and garlic build an earthy base while mustard powder and vinegar deliver sharp acidity. The heat builds slowly and grips your palate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePerfect for tacos, eggs, pizza, grilled meats, and anywhere you want complex medium heat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSmall batch artisan hot sauce. No xanthan gum.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45098983358663,"sku":"S7","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/S_BF.png?v=1747085211"},{"product_id":"liquid-fuego-hot-sauce","title":"Liquid Fuego","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCrafted from honey, fresh Habanero peppers, lime and tamarind, this small batch delivers big flavor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSplash some onto your next plate of fried chicken, for a sting of tangy deliciousness! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOriginally developed in partnership with Punkandyo,  Liquid Fuego is all about that sweet, sweet heat!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIngredients: Habanero, Honey, Tamarind, Lime, Garlic, Salt, Vinegar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNet weight 5oz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHeat Level 🔥🔥 Hot\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHabanero Hot Sauce with Honey \u0026amp; Tamarind\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eHabanero hot sauce balanced with honey and tamarind for sweet tangy heat. Fresh lime and garlic add brightness. This hot sauce works on fried chicken, tacos, grilled seafood, rice bowls, and BBQ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eGluten free. No xanthan gum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSmall batch craft hot sauce.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45098986668231,"sku":"LF","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/LFBF.png?v=1747085575"},{"product_id":"goat-mylk-habanero-hot-sauce","title":"Goat Mylk (Habanero Hot Sauce)","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCursed blend of BBQ’d pineapple and unforgiving habanero, summoned straight from the underworld’s cauldron. First, a deceitful kiss of golden sweetness—then the flames consume you, dragging your taste buds into a pit of smoky, citrus-fueled torment. No mercy, no escape—just pure, unholy heat. Drizzle at your own damnation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIngredients: Habanero, BBQ'd pineapple, vinegar, lemon, garlic, ginger, turmeric, salt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNet weight 5oz.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003eHeat Level 🔥🔥🔥 Very Hot\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBBQ Pineapple Habanero Hot Sauce - Very Hot\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eVery hot habanero sauce with BBQ'd pineapple, turmeric, and ginger. The pineapple adds smoky depth while lemon and garlic balance the intense heat. Use on tacos, grilled pork, pizza, eggs, and Asian dishes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e100% vegan. No xanthan gum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSmall batch craft hot sauce.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45098987847879,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/GMBF.png?v=1747085730"},{"product_id":"the-unholy-trinity","title":"The Unholy Trinity","description":"\u003cp\u003eIndulge in the Unholy Trinity, blasphemous trio of our three most coveted sauces. These sinfully irresistible elixirs are the heart of Drain Cleaner Hot Sauce. From the smoldering depths of 'Goat Mylk' to the tantalizing 'Liquid Fuego' and 'Specimen 7', this trinity represents the epitome of our culinary craftsmanship. Each drop conjures an experience that defies mortal limits. Prepare to awaken your taste buds and ignite your senses, for with the Unholy Trinity, the fiery allure of Satanic Drain Cleaner shall possess your palate like never before. Embrace the flames and surrender to the depths of flavor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShips in psychotogenic and potentially collectable packaging.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSmall batch Hot Sauce.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eXanthan gum NEVER.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"text-align: left;\" class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/satansdrano.com\/collections\/hot-sauce\/products\/goat-mylk-habanero-hot-sauce\" title=\"Goat Mylk Hot Sauce\"\u003eGoat Mylk\u003c\/a\u003e (very hot habanero with BBQ pineapple)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"text-align: left;\" class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/satansdrano.com\/collections\/hot-sauce\/products\/liquid-fuego-hot-sauce\" title=\"Liquid Fuego Hot Sauce\"\u003eLiquid Fuego\u003c\/a\u003e (sweet heat habanero with tamarind)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"text-align: left;\" class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/satansdrano.com\/collections\/hot-sauce\/products\/specimen-7-hot-sauce\" title=\"Specimen 7 Hot Sauce\"\u003eSpecimen 7\u003c\/a\u003e (medium heat with jalapeño and habanero)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eView individual sauce pages for details 👹\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eHot Sauce Gift Set - 3 Pack Variety\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThree bottle hot sauce gift set featuring Satan's Drano's most popular craft hot sauces. This hot sauce variety pack covers the full heat spectrum and flavor range. Perfect for gifts, trying multiple sauces, or stocking your collection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSmall batch artisan hot sauce. No xanthan gum.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45099001184455,"sku":"UT","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/boxnobckgrnd.png?v=1778532921"},{"product_id":"dime-x-satanic-drain-cleaner-twist-of-kano","title":"Dime Twist of Kano","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTwist of Kano\u003c\/strong\u003e commence sur des notes de cerise sûrette et fumée, avant de basculer dans une montée de feu habanero. Un contraste brutal entre douceur et brûlure — inattendu, addictif et inoubliable. Né pendant le Dime Glory Challenge. Conçu pour la gloire, pas pour le confort. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIngrédients: Habanero,  cerise, lime, oignon, ail, miel, vinaigre, miel, sel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"103\" data-end=\"357\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTwist of Kano\u003c\/strong\u003e opens on notes of tart, smoky cherry, before plunging into a surge of habanero fire.\u003cbr data-start=\"203\" data-end=\"206\"\u003eA brutal clash of sweetness and burn—unexpected, addictive, unforgettable.\u003cbr data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"283\"\u003eBorn at the Dime Glory Challenge. Designed for glory, not for comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"359\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eIngredients: Habanero, cherry, lime, onion, garlic, honey, vinegar, salt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eFuck xanthan gum. vegan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNet weight 5oz.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e 148ml.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003eHeat Level 🔥🔥 Hot\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45455834251463,"sku":"TOK","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/bottlefront_b8df2f6c-9118-4f61-91e4-9448df1fc885.png?v=1756829861"},{"product_id":"brain-rot-skullie","title":"Brain Rot Skullie","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour brain is decaying. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet the rot spread. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSublimated cortex, embroidered logo. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% pure acrylic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted in China.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOne size fits all.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45636764172487,"sku":null,"price":45.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/brainrotfront_46d48007-3fc5-4074-9540-93bee987b942.png?v=1760212876"},{"product_id":"poser-purge-balaclava","title":"POSER PURGE Balaclava","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe official POSER PURGE Balaclava is a long braided-knit beanie cap is designed to be pulled over the face, offering both warmth and coverage. It features three strategically placed holes for visibility and breathability, making it ideal for winter sports and criminal activities where comfort and performance are essential.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEmbroidered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdjustable. One size fits all.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCamo: Woodland\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric: 100% Acrylic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEyes: holes\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMouth: hole\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: One Size Fits Most\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45636843765959,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/balaklava.png?v=1760216819"},{"product_id":"tasteofhyderabad","title":"Taste of Hyderabad - Imran Potato x Drain Cleaner Hot Sauce","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"46\" data-end=\"377\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"46\" data-end=\"70\"\u003eTaste of Hyderabad\u003c\/strong\u003e is rooted in the flavor language of Indian mint chutney, but built to pour like a hot sauce.  Made with Imran Potato, this green mint chutney hot sauce hits with fresh mint, coriander, green chili, lime, garlic, and ginger for a flavor that feels sharp, cool, tangy, and alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"379\" data-end=\"726\"\u003eThe heat sits in the \u003cstrong data-start=\"400\" data-end=\"418\"\u003emild-to-medium\u003c\/strong\u003e zone. It has enough green chili bite to wake things up, but it’s not trying to flatten your mouth. This one is about \u003cstrong data-start=\"536\" data-end=\"586\"\u003efreshness, tang, and repeat-pour addictiveness\u003c\/strong\u003e as much as heat. The result is insanely delicious: herbaceous, punchy, citrusy, savory, and dangerously easy to keep putting on everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"1043\"\u003eIt works especially well on \u003cstrong data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"851\"\u003egrilled meats, kebabs, chicken, rice bowls, eggs, wraps, samosas, fries, and anything fried\u003c\/strong\u003e. It also crushes on \u003cstrong data-start=\"872\" data-end=\"965\"\u003eburgers, roasted vegetables, breakfast sandwiches, and as a dip mixed into yogurt or mayo\u003c\/strong\u003e. Basically, anywhere a mint chutney belongs, and plenty of places it doesn’t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"1043\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eINGREDIENTS: \u003c\/strong\u003eMint, cilantro, peppers (habanero, green chili), vinegar, lime juice, onion, garlic, ginger, honey, salt, cumin, coriander, chaat masala, spices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNo xathan gum. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNet weight 5oz.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e 148ml.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003eHeat Level 🔥 Mellow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satan's Drano","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46581796044999,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/BOTTLEFRONT_ddf81552-9d4b-4b29-a44e-d6a1e6049d45.png?v=1779310781"},{"product_id":"dont-talk-to-me-mug","title":"''Don't Talk to Me'' Mug","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEvery morning is the morning after something. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhite ceramic. Red interior. Red handle. The kind of thing you grab before your eyes are fully open and your soul has re-entered your body. The words on the side say what you can't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHolds coffee, tea, HOT SAUCE.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eITEM PROPERTIES:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e-11 oz Capacity\u003cbr\u003e-Dishwasher Safe\u003cbr\u003e-Microwave Safe\u003cbr\u003e-Red Interior \/ Red Handle\u003cbr\u003e-Ceramic (White)\u003cbr\u003e-\u003cstrong\u003e +15% Resistance to Mondays\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Drain Cleaner Hot Sauce","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46673387487431,"sku":null,"price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0508\/5662\/4327\/files\/WEB.png?v=1781811053"}],"url":"https:\/\/satansdrano.com\/collections\/summer-2026.oembed","provider":"Drain Cleaner Hot Sauce","version":"1.0","type":"link"}